i never thought that i understood her. she always seemed so far away from me. i loved her, of course. we shared mutual love from the day i was born. i came into this world with a bashed head and deformed features because of the hard labor my mother had gone through. family members and friends wrinkled their noses at the disfigured baby i was. they all commented on how much i looked like a beat-up football player. but no, not her. nana thought i was beautiful. her eyes twinkled with splendor and happiness at the ugly baby in her arms. her first granddaughter. beautiful, she said.

before final exams in my junior year of high school, she died. seven years ago, her doctors diagnosed nana with alzheimers disease. seven years ago, our family became experts on this disease as, slowly, we lost her.

she always spoke in fragmented sentences. as the years passed, the words she spoke became fewer and fewer, until finally she said nothing at all. we were lucky to get one occasional word out of her. it was then our family knew she was near the end.

我以为我从来就不了解她。她仿佛离我很遥远。当然，我爱她。从我出生那天起我们就爱护彼此。因为母亲难产，我生下来便头部受伤，面貌丑陋。家人和朋友对我这个畸形婴儿不屑一顾，他们都评论说我看起来多么像一个蓬头垢面的足球运动员。但是，她没有。祖母认为我很漂亮。看着怀中丑陋的婴儿她的眼睛变得光彩夺目，幸福万分。这是她第一个孙女啊，真漂亮，她说。